Hot Fall

Thursday, September 29, 2011


Today I added an explanation on my facebook wall photo album entitled 'My Cancer Journey'. I don't know what has gotten into me. All of a sudden I feel like some kind of spokesperson for Skin Cancer Awareness. I felt complelled to add an explanation to the pictures posted because the questions and well wishes came pouring in, for days. Some of my friends didn't even know there was a journey. Until now, I kept it pretty much to myself. I think what has happened is that opening up, sharing the what's when's, how's...etc I've learned that a few of my fiiends have also had battles and won.  Other responses have been from those who have a spouse, parent, brother, child, etc....suffering.  So why wouldn't I share if it provokes conversation and makes people aware? 

It's personal for me and knowing several who have struggled or are in the struggle of thier life right now. I have lost a friend at age 39 to melanoma. She thought she had won the battle, kind of let her guard down. During a long period of time after her cure she had no medical insurance.She let herself go for almost 10 years before her next visit to a dermatologist's office and less that 18 months later, Cancer Won. I called her cell phone over Christmas only to get her mother answering. I was in a vehicle, parked just out side Trader Joes when I made that call. Just wanted to talk to my friend since I knew she had just started clinical trials. The biggest surprise for me when her mother very delicately tried to explain what happened was my reaction to hearing about her death. Maybe my tears were selfish inpart knowing her, and knowing that I too could suffer the same mortality. It's so different when you hear about someone you had lunch with, had shop-office chatter with, laughed with, worked with, mentored, smelled her favorite perfume every morning, younger than you and now her face is there in your memory and you are looking right at her (spirit). That's the best way to describe the shockwave that rattled my body and it was all I could do to be consoleing to her mom who was on the line in Missouri trying to keep it together herself.. Once the cell phone hit the leather seat next to me I was hysterical, head on my arms resting on the steering wheel is where I sat for I wanna say at least 10 minutes before I called my husband. He can calm me, and I needed to hear his voice. That was more than 5 years ago, I still mail a Christmas Card to my friends mother every year, what else can I do?
The photo above represents how I feel though there's something pretty about the model who is all stitched up. Excluding pretty, I feel like that photo, being held together by stitches. If you have a question or you would like to share a story I would love to hear from you. I've provided a link to my Facebook Photos (3) that show day 1 of 26 stitches, 2 incisions 1-3mm  and 1-4mm after they've been stitched on my right shoulder. The biopsies removed (2) were only 4" apart so the bruises showed up the next morining. It was also my first glance at the damages.
Don't forget to PLEASE tell me what's on your mind, share a story or just comment to let me know you were here. Blogging can be lonely sometimes, I just wondering if there's anybody out there reading them?


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